Cynical Goat-ism

I am a cynic. I look at the world through the tinted glasses of a cynic. And it looks pretty blue to me. People don't like cynics coz cynics make fun of stupid people. They act all high and mighty and look like they know everything. To be honest, a cynic generally does. :-)

Being a cynic is actually easy. You put on a frown, or a general smirk on your face, and criticize everything. And in doing so, cynics generally irritate people. Its not intentional, but it happens. Mostly because cynics tend to blame everybody else for what's wrong with the world, while they themselves don't do anything to improve the situation. True. But its not easy being a cynic if you are stupid. The light's gotta be on upstairs for being a cynic coz or else u've got be like Forrest Gump.... 'Run Forrest, Run!"

Cynics are the irritating buggers in the movies who'll constantly ridicule the choices the hero makes, or the inspiring rhetoric he makes, and obviously get killed/eaten/turned into a zombie at some point in the movie. This obviously allows our hero to cry out in anguish, "Why him/her? Why not me instead?", thus establishing his dashing persona and his penchant for self-sacrifice. Bah! Humbug!

In my opinion, being a cynic is more of a choice of self-preservation, forget self-sacrifice. Life is full of low lifes who'll fleece the lint out of your smelly sock if they could and trust me when i say, trust is truly overrated these days.

There are certain things that really get my goat, cynical goat that is.

1.) Shit happens and it generally happens to you - No matter how many ways I look at this, I can never understand/explain how this happens.

2.) Only the beautiful survive - Andrew Grove was wrong. It ain't the paranoid. Its the good looking. If you look good, then you're half way there. Ugly people have to do so much more to get to the same level as good looking people. In fact, some times, its just better to not try.

3.) Talk the talk and you dont need to walk the walk - Oh yes... forget about actually having to workif you can "power shmooze" your way through life. Networking is all that's required these days, and I dont mean the orkut kind. Not only does it boost your career, it helps you get the women too. Woe betide the tongue tied...

4.) Taste is directly proportional to waist - Whatever tastes good, adds to your waist. And more the taste, the less proportional your waist will be!

5.) There's no absolute - I dont mean the vodka (because then i would say, there's never enough Absolut!). I mean, in general things are always grey and life is never black or white. This can sometimes be a good thing, but making decisions becomes infinitely more harder.

There's always more things in life to complain about and I guess this would end up being a pretty big post. But I wanted to start off on my metaphysical ranting. Now, I can come back later and pick up from where I left off. There'll be more posts on the Cynical Goat... But this one's over. And it doesnt have a link at the end!