Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I Love the World

Here's something that's really nice. Its short, but it covers a lot of ground (pun intended)

Friday, April 11, 2008

Oil n Gold : How the Mallu story does unfold

It seems the world is headed for a recession. The International Monetary Fund said so. And they did research to prove it. OH GREAT! Just when I was settling in, had invested a little money in the stock market and started to follow the indexes, it crashes. Ofcourse, until now, I didn't have any savings to make investments. As usual, I never win.

Ofcourse, at times like this, we should look to the good book to guide us. And in this case, the book has something that's the most hard hitting and relevant right on its back cover. It says … Dont Panic!

…Atleast not yet, I guess. But take your money out of the stock market, and put it in gold. As a mallu, I've seen the voracious appetite for gold that's prevalent in Kerala, but I never understood it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that most of the gold in India is found in the south… em…. 99% of it according to this article in the Hindu. (There's something I didn't know before). Or maybe its because, Kerala's got more women than men. Luckily gangsta rap isn't very hip in Kerala, otherwise we'd have more teenagers into bling! That'd have helped the gold industry… infact they shud probably consider creating a new segment than always harping on weddings and overachieving women.

Anyways… Now, it seems the average malayalee is much smarter than everybody else. We've been hoarding gold since god knows when. Atlast, we'll have our due… when the world collapses under the legacy of the imperialistic and war mongering dollar, the leftist state of kerala will snicker in satisfaction at having held on to their Marxian ideologies…

But wait a sec… So far this ideological state survived because the main ambition of every slightly smart and industrious mallu was to transport his heavily coconut-oiled self to the 'gelf', the oil-enriched big dollar ticket to offset lower earning potential in Kerala. By struggling, bribing and sometimes actually smuggling, he manages to reach the Promised Land and leave God's own country behind. He toils hard, and harbors dreams of accumulating wealth so that his brethren back in Kerala can…em… hoard more gold… Ofcourse with the descent of the dollar, the exchange rate is slowly becoming unfavorable. This has resulted in the inflow of NRI rupees becoming a trickle, and mallus being forced to re-assess their gulf strategy.

Oh how the gold rolex-ed, gold chain-ed, ray ban-ed, 'tang & nido laden' mighty have fallen…

Yet, malayalees are very good self-preservationists… they'll find their way back! I shud know, after all I am one… at heart atleast…